also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
I would ride that face into the sunset
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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