"it" just moved
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
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