Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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