you're like a bully in the Christmas story
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
