Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
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