i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
so much tequila, so little girl.
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
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