I didn't shave. On purpose
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Randomize
