I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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