do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
I am listening to lecture and I can hear us in the background talking about anal beads.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Randomize
