Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
