Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
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