Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
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