I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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