I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
if only i could text you this smell
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
