Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
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