operation have a gay friend backfired
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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