Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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