I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
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