think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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