i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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