I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Randomize
