I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Fuck Spring. The birds chirping at 4am make me feel unnatural for still being up and drunk.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
Get over here. It's an emergency. Just realized I haven't hd my mouth on a penis in two weeks. Get over here.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
