How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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