she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
