She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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