meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
Do you remember whose house we're in?
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
I’m going to have to rewatch all of them. Drugs, man.
Randomize
