I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I touched a dick in church today
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
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