mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Also I'm at the pub and there are old lady pirates gyrating on a pole. I wish you were here.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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