You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Randomize
