thus making me awesome and them whores
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Randomize
