Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
