I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
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