so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Randomize
