So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Randomize
