I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I'm so hungry and so lazy that I'm seriously considering ripping into that packet of cream cheese in my nightstand.
Randomize
