omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
