I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
Randomize
