I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
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