I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize
