Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
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