the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
