he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize
