She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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