Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Randomize
