so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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