I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I AM VODKA MAN
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
