I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
Randomize
