I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hey..um, you dont know me, but I just found your purse in a bush at the end of my street this morning
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Randomize
