i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
This gyro tastes like lonliness
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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