Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
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