Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I have 3 vacation days left and I'm guarding them like a gay dragon on a pile of gold dildos molded after celebrities.
Smaug the FABULOUS
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize
