what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
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