And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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